City of Love and Ashes

There were several strange comments or references to the devil, which I proposed to be some sort of religious affiliation or relation. Otherwise it would not make sense to me why the characters would say things like, "Nothing strange but the Devil!" They just did not seem to fit the conversation correctly. It was just as if the things that happened that they did not approve of or like related to the devil which was unusual.

I was did not understand Hamza's reasoning for thinking that "he had no faith in women or in what they might be capable of achieving, even though he was always saying there was no difference between men and women and that women had the same rights as men." It would have possible made sense if he had given an example of why his thoughts were that way, but he did not and it led me to believe that it was more of a middle-eastern culture issue with women more so than a personal experience that Hamza might have had. It was sort of strange how this thought seemed to battle in his mind when he first met Fawziya. It was like he knew she was capable of important and difficult tasks in their revolutionary missions, just as he was, but he also had that opinion of women being less capable and less trustworthy of men possibly because of their feminine nature. I could not tell if his mind's battle was actually just battling his attraction to her rather than her revolutionary capabilities.

While contemplating where he must go to protect himself during the martial law crisis in Egypt, Hamza thought of Bedeir and wondered if would be willing to rescue him again if necessary. I figured that this referenced a previous action within the political changes and issues that Hamza faced and could not find safety. He did not clarify what exactly he got himself into that he could not find his own way out and leaned on Bedeir for support. I figured that he had just experienced another leading role in some sort of political revolt or had commanded and gathered some sort of training camp as he had currently been doing. He seemed to be followed by the government officials who just looked for his wrong step. Also, I wonder where these two met or why they became friends because the seem extremely different from each other. Hamza is a very motivated activist against their British oppressors, and Bedeir does not seem to take notice to such politics except when he is listening to the radio news with Hamza. It seems strange that they would be such close and trustworthy friends, especially when Hamza was so passionate for things such as revolutions and Bedeir was not, even saying to Hamza that he was welcome to stay in his home, but wanted no part in that "stuff." Even later on in the novella, Bedeir does not even seem to notice important issues with their country's state, and he is more concerned with his new vacuum cleaner. He either chooses to ignore the current issues, or he is completely unaware of them at all or the severity of them that Hamza notices.

When Hamza first started staying in Bedeir's house, the radio news and newspapers sounded vague and sugar-coated. It seemed to contain only minor details of the struggle and martial law. It was disappointing to Hamza as his only source of knowledge of his passion in the outside world. It was sort of like our news, however, when the war in Iraq first began in that it contained only positive, optimistic details and news of battles and information. These were not necessarily the truth of what was actually occurring.

The background information Hamza revealed of his family was depressing. He was the oldest son and was given much responsibility and much reliance was put on his shoulders to support his family with his education and future job. I can understand why, when he failed his first couple of times that he still put on a fake personification that he was top of his class. There must have been so much pressure and stress from that responsibility of having the possibility of his family's future poverty and misfortune weighing on him.

The following chapters really did not seem to contain very much regarding their struggling resistance against their British oppressors. If they do the details and information is seemingly only deeply entangled in Hamza's growing secretive affection or obsession for Fawziya. There is much thought about and considered dealing with Fawziya, but Hamza takes little into consideration what needs to be done to make a difference in their movement. He is completely overtaken by the affect that she has on him, being that it is the first time he has ever experienced such a feeling. It is sort of unusual that he is so worried and overcome with these deep pensive feelings. It seemed to me that there was some sort of role reversal between the sexes and the man is now feeling all the flowing stressful thoughts and feelings that women experience quite frequently. For example, on page 47, "He felt an eternal tranquility once she was inside the apartment, and the fear sank away that had filled his chest..." He was filled with much worry and anguish which was uncharacteristic of him.

It seemed also that Hamza's feelings toward Fawziya made him doubt or change his ideas and lifestyle that he had had for many previous years. He continuously contemplated whether or not his positions in the revolutionary actions were worth it or if they made him happy and satisfied. This was, of course, all before he was given her reaction to his attraction to her, when he thought there might be a possibility that she could love him back or not be able to refuse his love if not. He kept considering how wonderful things that he did not have and could not have because of his role could be like family and a house peace. He became so dreamy and lost in his thoughts of her and their possible future that it seemed he forgot completely about reality and his job with the resistance movement was.


Hamza's friend Bedeir is either acting, or actually is completely clueless to what he is doing regarding the resistance as well as his feelings toward Fawziya. He thinks that Hamza has an entire huge suitcase filled with clothes which should not make sense because he knows that Hamza is not a materialistic person such as himself, and that his main concern has been for many years the planning and actions of the movement. With Fawziya, Bedeir makes several comments and accusations trying to determine her status with Hamza. He never once takes into account the cold shoulder response that Hamza offers to his presumptuous questions. He goes straight on being playful as well as oblivious to their situation. It was not until Hamza stepped up and practically went off on Bedeir that he finally understood what might be going on, and that Fawziya was a woman to respect and not presume her habits or make crude comments.

It seemed as though the basis of chapters 11-13 were of the status of the relationship between Fawziya and Hamza whether it was capable of romance, friendship, or neither. It was confusing to discern whether or not Hamza's feelings toward Fawziya were that of love, infatuation, or lust. I ruled out the option of lust because he did intently and seemingly genuinely think of her and not just sexually, but more in depth and intellectually. There was one sentence that really left me confused on the remaining two options, "Yesterday after what had happened he had looked for any last remnant of affection toward her and not found it." I contemplated if he could have really felt his "love" for Fawziya disintegrate so instantaneously after her letdown or if his void of emotional connection for her was only a temporary mind consuming infatuational stage in his mind to ease his hiding-out and boardness. I did weigh in the factor that he might just be trying to protect his feelings from their hurt stage, like he was trying to convince himself that those feelings never existed, however, knowing that they had. This last option sounded most reasonable and most like something I could relate to so I figured that Hamza was more than likely just burying his considerations for her to help him cope and move on with his future.

Personally if I were Hamza, no matter how much I would have admired Fawziya and wanted to be with her, I would have not liked many parts of the lengthy letter that she provided him with. It showed her sort of manipulative and selfish ways, but I can understand her final justification of them being that she was only trying to get to know him better and in that she fell in love with him and with her society and his journey to save it. It was romantic in a way, but definitely deceiving as well. Hamza showed his soft, forgiving, and loving side of his personality when reviewing all of the secret doors that she opened to him. It was inspirational in that he could be so mislead and then was completely willing to forgive and forget and move on. He did not disregard what she had revealed to him, but he used it as a platform to lift her up and show her that she was improving her personality and her passion for life and the well-being of her country through her faults. He was caring in that he realized that she had not intended to hurt him or lie to him, but to please and impress him.

In Fawziya's letter it was ironic that she said, "And as far as you were concerned, alongside my growing feelings for you I suspected that you sometimes didn't give straight answers, that you were duping me and lying." She was actually the one that was being mischievous and misleading. There was also a part in the letter where she admits that the people that accuse others of a crime are indeed guilty themselves usually. This is a perfect example of her own belief. Also ironically enough, Hamza was the one that admitted in the book's start that he was unsure of the trustworthiness of women in general, whether or not it be a wife or business partner and he was the one doing the majority of the trusting and being open to new and different events in life and Fawziya was not. She was cheating him of the truth and confessed to not trusting him. This was a weird flip-flop of personalities and beliefs. Reading her letter also made me start to think of other possibilities than her confessing her love back to him. I thought she could have been coming clean about being a spy trying to catch him or convict him of some crime from their revolutionary work. It would have been smart of Hamza to not be so trusting when he first met her in the tent at the small training camp because he was so sought-after by the government and police. He just assumed from the beginning that she was just a woman revolutionary worker, when her entire organization was fabricated. Also, his friend that could not keep appointments might have been secretly up to something in bringing her to their camp. It all started to become suspicious when reading the letter.

Their conversations were so romantic and innocent it was very sweet to see Hamza take himself off the pedestal that Fawziya had held him up on as her hero and try to rationalize with her to make her see that he was an ordinary person. She was able to see his true character when she was not idolizing or admiring him from atop the glorious mountain and she loved him even more for his bona fide sincerity.

Bedeir was in such a confusing and strange sort of mind when he came home and saw her at his apartment with Hamza. I could tell from the start, with his attached awkwardness invading Hamza and Fawziya's conversations, that he was lovesick over her. It was funny too to see that he did not know what to do around her, which seemed to be a common feeling for many men in her presence. I did not know whether Bedeir was drunk, he mentioned that he liked to drink, or if it truly was jealousy over Fawziya. There was never mention of alcohol, however, there was not much time spent with Bedeir to figure it out. It was a strange statement for Hamza to think - noticing Bedeir's emotional state "in which he could commit murder."

I always try to figure out where the title of a novel stems from. This one I am having trouble with. I am assuming that the "City of Love and Ashes" refers possibly to either the cemetery that helped to protect and prolong Hamza's fight as a nationalist continue or a city in general. If it is referring to the cemetery then the title could mean that the cemetery is always ready to love anyone and help out just like a family member comes to you when you least expect it. The ashes part is pretty much self-explanatory in this regard because when you die you eventually decay, become ashes or dirt or whatever, and then the process of life and death continues on with or without your existence. If the "City of Love and Ashes" refers to that of any city in general, the love could be the love for the people of of the people of the city; how when, just as Hamza was in the last chapter struggling for a safe place from his pursuit chase, you are in desperate need of something the people in the city will somehow come together and aid your struggle. The cemetery part was harder to figure out in this scenario, so I could only come up with practically the same reasoning behind the "Ashes" of the city, which is the recirculation of life of the people and the city.

The novel ended weirdly and uncomfortably for me. I wanted to find the endings to a few things mentioned, but did not with it's abrupt finish. I realized that Bedeir had noticed his jealousy and forgiven Hamza for also loving Fawziya, but I wanted to know how their friendship was after his note in the newspaper. I could imagine that they would be friends for a long time, they had been through so much tribulations, but I wondered if it would make the situation more awkward than forgiving with Fawziya as Hamza's new wife. With the letter, though, I presumed that Bedeir was speaking in a cover code by saying "we" and "father." It crossed my mind that it could have been a term of endearment such as "uncle," which has been used frequently, but I decided against it when I reread the message and noticed the "we."

It was halfway shocking to find that Abu Duma was not such an idiot after all. He was completely aware of his surroundings, the cemetery and the people in it, and what they were up to. Therefore, it must have meant that he did fully understand his "many happy cements," comment from the book's beginning. He not only must have known what the men were up to, but he also must have been keenly listening in on their conversations to be able to know their secret code word for the dynamite. I wondered if Hamza's friend Sayyid was jealous of Abu Duma for having such an educated wife. He sounded so harsh at the thought of her that it reminded me of Bedeir's feelings, jealousy and sharp anger, toward Hamza over Fawziya. He just sounded like an unpleasant friend to be around because he was described as always being on edge and angry.